Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them.

One thing i don't understand about life. We meet thousands of people, then we will meet that one person and our life will change forever.

Of course gay guys dress well… they didn’t spend all that time in the closet doing nothing.

That awkward moment when your stomach gurgles loudly during the most quiet situations.

I'm pretty much talentless. I can't sing, I can't act, I can't dance, I can't do magic tricks. Hell, I can barely cook Ramen noodles.

Best invention ever: a mirror that takes pictures.

My school supplies? 1) Cellphone. 2) Headphones. 3) iPod. 4) Snacks. 5) Homework that I copied. 6) Money.

I'm afraid people can see me through my web cam even though its off.

A jealous woman does better research than the FBI.

The awkward moment when you politely decline food at a friends house and immediately regret the decision afterwards.

That awkward moment when your hand touches someone's ass by mistake.

Life is like a penis. It's short, but seems so long when it gets hard.

Night Before School: I want to look attractive tomorrow. Morning Before School: You tried.

I'm so bored of being bored because being bored is really boring.

I love hearing old songs I used to love. They're like memories you can always go back to.

Sometimes I look at people and think: Really? That's the sperm that won?!